Friday, October 12, 2007

The Unreality of Selfportraiture

Life is just a bundle of paradoxes at the moment.
A large portion of my work is inherently contradictory and to a certain extent it messes with my head.
The classic example of which is the self-portrait. The 'easy' paradox is the necessity of exposition in a professional artistic career versus social inadequacies and their associated fears.
In an idealistic world the product (and associated showings) is completely irrelevant to the creative pursuit. Unfortunately it is a necessary element that needs to be addressed. Progression is not easy in a bubble when outside forces affect that movement.
I had this 'problem' for a while in the late 90s where I stepped completely into a mini-mini-bubble and tore my photographic world to pieces. The reliance on elements (object, scene, model) disturbed me to a great extent - not least of which access to said elements and addictive dependence.
It was and is puritan for me to say that I didn't/don't 'need' to show the work ... I do and to some extent enjoy (if that's the right word) feedback in whatever form it might come. This doesn't need to be tangible 'things' (words, text, etc) but can be as simple as seeing the animal alive in it's cage.
Lately my work has been closer to the line... I've been trying to make more emotive and 'true' images - the word I like to use is 'veracity' as 'honest' is too loaded.
I very carefully avoid both 'honesty' and 'reality' as terms as they are void in the discussion of self-portraiture --- that is, it's impossible to catch yourself unawares in the process of creating a self-portrait. Even randomness is tainted by your own editing.
The greater series (drei) is very manipulative of 'reality' and I guess I'm trying to get back to the less unreal.
BankWest is really started to scare me.... need to have a break!

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