The week that was...

I've become aware that I stumble through life with a ridiculous mantra that 'I'll prove them wrong' whenever adversity is encountered.

The problem is that 'they' are highly unlikely to ever notice any proof - should it eventuate - or, more importantly, care.

Personal accomplishment is just that - personal. There isn't necessarily someone watching the good moment, just as a crowd could easily be around to watch the bad.

It's pathetic that I build this stupid little shell around it all instead of just 'getting over and thus on with it'.

It tends to make moments more precious that they necessarily should be - ie. an application being rejected - and personalises the experience too much. That is, I take it personally when I shouldn't.

My confidence is - irrelevant of any selfassuring - shot to s@#t and I hate this feeling of being in some deep hole.

This blog is some great metaphor for my broader practice - wasting time instead of actually doing something proper.